Humor Helps You Get the Girl
Dating isnít easy when you first meet someone. You want to make a good impression, but those first few dates can sometimes be awkward. When youíre trying to talk to someone you donít know, there can often be a lag in conversation as you try to figure out what to say.
If youíve ever been on one of those dates when it seemed like everything just kind of went south, there is something you can do to change that for the future. And, you probably already have this tool handy but didnít realize just how effective it could be to help you get the girl.
That tool is your sense of humor – and it works to help you land the girl that you want, whether youíve just started dating or youíve been dating a few weeks. Many guys tend to clam up and conceal their sense of humor, but itís one personality trait that is most attractive to women.
Why Women Say the Men They Date Must Have a Sense of Humor
If you check out dating sites, more often than not, youíll see that what women are looking for, even above looks in a man, is a sense of humor. If you doubt that humor is really what women want, think of all the funny leading men in Hollywood who donít have the star power good looks, yet women flock to their movies.
Itís because theyíre funny and funny can beat out attractiveness more often than not. A man with a sense of humor is a quality that most women look for because having a sense of humor can make any situation easier to handle.
When something goes wrong on a date, heís not always looking at the negative side, throwing his hands up or worse, having a temper tantrum. A man with a good sense of humor recognizes that life doesnít always go according to plan and he can roll with that.
Because heís adaptable, this draws women to him. Women are attracted more by personality and behavior than they are the physical appearance. A man with a sense of humor is by far more confident than a man who has little sense of humor.
Women recognize this confidence and are drawn to it. Believe it or not, thereís a lot of power in having a sense of humor. A woman enjoys being around a man who can laugh at the absurdities of life.
Women like this because they know that when a relationship hits a rough patch, a man with sense of humor will always find the positive in it. Heíll find something to laugh about – even in the toughest of times.
Heíll find a way to help make her laugh. Men with a sense of humor can keep a relationship fresh and lighthearted. These kinds of men are usually excited about life and always have something that theyíre looking forward to.
Women like the idea of having a man who doesnít get bogged down by life and all of the trying things that can go on. When a crisis hits, a man with a sense of humor has better coping skills than a man who doesnít.
A sense of humor helps a man look for a way around a situation and if he canít find it, then heíll find a way to lighten the burden. Studies have shown that people with a sense of humor are highly intelligent.
Theyíre often witty as well as being real in a world filled with posers. Women have had enough of men pretending to be something that theyíre not. A man with a sense of humor is at ease with himself and others around him.
He doesnít have to pretend to be someone else in order to feel comfortable. This sense of being at ease translates into confidence. He can be himself whether itís just the two of them or whether theyíre in a social situation.
Plus, women know that a man who has a good sense of humor is never boring. Heíll be fun to hang with alone or at a party. A man with a sense of humor not only knows how to lighten any situation, but he also knows how to use it during intimacy to deepen the connection.
Women long for a man that they can be themselves around. And one that has a sense of humor is one that they know they can laugh with because, while he can be serious, he wonít take things so seriously that he makes life a drag.
Women want men with a sense of humor because not only do they view these men as more fun, but also as having more long term potential. This is because men with a sense of humor have a higher playfulness level than men who are more serious.
Theyíre more likely to not be as stressed as men who never really learned to laugh at themselves or at life. A man with a sense of humor is not only witty, but he pays more attention to the world around him – and that includes the woman in his life.
Women pick up on this and itís more important to them than physical appearance. This is why youíll often see a beautiful woman out with a guy who looks like thereís no way he should be with her.
Studies have shown that couples who know how to laugh together are happier and more fulfilled than couples who donít. So if you want to get the girl, be sure and develop your sense of humor.
What Humor Is Appropriate?
Using humor is a great way to break the ice and get to know someone, but you need to know how to use it. A sense of humor isnít just one type of humor. A man can have different types of humor.
There can be the type of humor that shows a man doesnít let annoyances build up. He laughs more often than not and people enjoy being around him. This is a way of looking not only at things that can make you laugh individually, but at things that make you laugh as a couple.
Laughing together with the girl that you want to get is not only appropriate humor, but welcomed humor. Laughing with her is one thing. Laughing at her over something that bothers her is another.
When a man laughs with a woman, itís because heís supporting something they both enjoy. But when a man laughs at a woman and itís something that upsets her, thatís never appropriate.
An example of this is laughing at her choice of clothing or laughing because she fell down. Itís especially more of a deal breaker if she fell down and got hurt. Believe it or not, some men finds those things funny, and itís an instant turn off to a woman.
Humor is appropriate when itís a connected humor. Youíre both laughing at a private joke between the two of you. Thatís appropriate. Laughing at a joke or something crude one of your guy friends says about her is never appropriate.
She wonít think itís funny if you share that any more than you would think itís funny if her friends were laughing at you. Laughing at a funny movie together is appropriate. Making your date the butt of a prank isnít.
An example of this would be using juvenile jokes such as making farting noises when she sits down. Not only will you not get the girl, but sheíll think youíre acting like youíre in the first grade.
Humor thatís appropriate is humor thatís not offensive. A man with a sense of humor doesnít have to rely on saying mean or funny things. Jokes about body parts, religion, different cultures or races arenít funny.
Theyíre offensive. Making fun of someone with a disability or someone who has a deformity isnít appropriate humor and making jokes at someone elseís expense will only make her think youíre a jerk.
Humor toward yourself is funny as long as you donít end up using so much of it that you make yourself look like an incompetent fool. Women love men who arenít afraid to poke fun at themselves because it shows that he has strong confidence.
A man who laughs at himself is viewed as friendly and charming more so than a man whoís trying too hard to impress a woman by all his accomplishments. Sarcasm is something that men want to be careful with.
While being snarky can be funny, it has its moments and if you pick the wrong moment, youíll blow it with the girl that youíre interested in. This is because sarcasm can have a bite to it.
It can make a man sound like heís making cutting remarks instead of using humor. Only use sarcasm if itís clear that youíre not making fun of other people or putting your date, or women in general down in any way.
At all costs, you want to avoid using a sense of humor to share bathroom jokes. While guys will roll with laughter and slap each other on the shoulder at bathroom talk, most women donít find this even remotely funny.
In fact, they think it makes you sound uneducated. So if your sense of humor is to crack bathroom jokes, you might want to rethink your strategy, especially on a first date. Humor is also not appropriate if youíre the only one who gets it.
This usually happens when a man is talking about a book or a movie or a situation that heís familiar with but the date isnít. You want to make sure that your sense of humor covers something thatís familiar to her – something that sheíll get and laugh along with you.
When Is Humor Right to Use?
Humor is right to use when youíre really interested in the girl and feel that the interest is reciprocated. If you can make her laugh, it will increase the potential that the girl is going to fall for you.
But you have to remember to be yourself. If you donít have a sense of humor, it takes practice to not sound like youíre trying too hard. You want to be funny and witty, but not so witty that you end up stuck in the friend zone.
Humor is right to use when you want to get the girl if you talk about something funny that you did that you didnít mean to be funny. When a man has a sense of humor and uses it in his dating life, it helps women relax around him, to feel like they, too, can be themselves.
In turn, this lowers a womanís guard and sheíll be more open to you, and more open to saying yes to more dates in the future. Though you can use humor throughout the date, there are three specific times youíll want to use humor.
The first time that youíll want to use humor is during the introduction. This is because using humor will make you stand out in her mind. But remember that a pickup line usually comes across as a pickup line even if you try to make it funny.
Humor is something entirely different. Donít look at it as being about you if the thought of using humor makes you nervous. Look at it as being about her. Youíre trying to break the ice and put her at ease.
Keep in mind that while youíre using the humor, you donít want her to see you as friends only. Make sure that she knows youíre flirting, not just entertaining her from the get go so that you establish the boundaries of where you want the date to go.
The second time that youíll want to use humor is when talking about yourself as far as what youíve accomplished in life. This is because too many men brag so much about themselves that they come across as arrogant.
No woman wants to date a guy whoís full of himself. So use humor to your advantage. If you have a long list of accomplishments, thereís nothing wrong with sharing that, but to keep from sounding like youíre arrogant, add something funny.
Say something like, ìAnd I also save the world in my spare timeî and sheíll know that youíre ambitious, yet funny. Two things that a woman really likes about a man. The third time you want to make sure you use humor is at the close of the date.
Too many men find that a date turns awkward at the end. They donít know whether to lean in for a kiss or if itís too soon. It can be hard to read a womanís body language. This is where humor can help you.
You can say something funny. Something along the lines of being a guy can be tough. You never know whether to go in for a goodnight kiss or not and instead, kick yourself all way the way home because you didnít even try, but with humor.
Women appreciate a guy who can navigate the awkward parts of a date transition smoothly. Those are the guys that always get the second date.
When Should You Be Serious?
Thereís a time for humor and thereís a time to be serious when youíre trying to get the girl. Hereís something that youíll want to remember. If itís something serious to her, it should be something serious to you.
If she laughs about her job, then itís okay to be funny about that. But if her job is something that sheís worked hard to get and sheís proud of it and doesnít say anything even remotely funny about it, then you shouldnít either.
You should be serious if she mentions an ex who was a jerk to her. Cracking a joke when sheís opening up to you about a guy from her past is a foolish move. When a woman does this, sheís telling you because sheís trying to find the ground where you stand.
If you think the way that the ex treated her is wrong or not, always be serious whenever a woman is being vulnerable around you. You should be serious whenever youíre talking about subjects that can be hot button conversation bits.
For example, if she says something about one of her family members, you donít want to jump on that bandwagon with a joke. Youíre still a stranger to her and while it might be okay for her to say something about her family and even to crack a joke, you donít have that right.
And what will end up happening is sheíll get defensive. So donít make jokes or try to be funny about a womanís family. Itís okay for you to share funny things or insights about your own family, but not hers.
Be serious when you meet her friends for the first time. Save the humor until you know them better. They donít know you and this is the time when theyíll be checking you out to see if they think youíre a good idea for their friend.
Friends have a lot of influence. You wonít want them to think that while youíre funny, youíre so funny you couldnít possibly be good at a serious relationship in the future. Be serious if the dating relationship goes to the next level and you start sleeping together.
While itís important for a couple to laugh together, you also want to show her that you have a serious side, a romantic side that connects with her during intimacy. Finally, be serious when you have an argument.
While humor can help ease tension, it can also come across to her that youíre not taking her seriously, that youíre not really listening to her and thatís a good way to bring about the end of a relationship.
If youíre not sure whether you have a good sense of humor, ask some of your close friends and family members. See if women react with a nervous smile, like theyíre feeling awkward, or if theyíre genuinely laughing along with you.
Donít use crude humor, sarcasm or stale jokes. Just learn how to be light-hearted about things. Make sure youíre not ìonî 24/7, though. A sense of humor is a great personality trait to have, but it shouldnít be your only one, either.